There’s a code we don’t talk about enough; a line in the sand when it comes to loyalty, protection, and respect. Especially when it comes to our friends, our relationships, and our spiritual walk. It’s a responsibility we carry whether we’re in public or behind closed doors. And the older I get, the more I realize that not everybody’s built to stand on it.
I once lost a close friend over something that shouldn’t have been an issue. He told me he didn’t like my wife. Not because she did anything foul or disrespectful. Not because she mistreated me or caused drama in our circle. His issue? My wife asked him why he pulled up to our place with another woman when we all knew he had a girlfriend. That was it. She didn’t curse him out. She didn’t expose him. She just asked a question he didn’t want to answer.
Instead of owning up to his mess, he turned it into a personal beef with her. And, by extension, with me.
That’s not friendship. That’s selfishness.
A true friend doesn’t fold under accountability. A real friend protects what matters to you, even if it makes them uncomfortable. That’s the job. Whether it’s standing ten toes down in the street or behind the scenes, friendship is about protection, not pettiness.
That brings me to Kevin Gates.
Over the weekend, Gates crossed a line that too many men these days think is OK to blur. He went on a public rant criticizing Savannah James, the wife of LeBron James, for how she “looks” at her husband. Gates said she didn’t look at Bron with enough admiration, then compared her to white women in the stands who appeared more excited to see him.
“He’s one of the greatest players to ever play the game, but I wouldn’t want to trade places with him,” Gates said about Lebron James. “Because I don’t like the way Savannah look at LeBron. I like the way them white women look at Lebron. As soon he walks out there….They be in dicked out.”
He continued: “But I notice, when he go to do the handshake with the main player on his team, which is… that, you act like I’mbothering you, bitch. I’m the greatest player in the world — one of them. And you act like the warden of the jail, like you came here to police me. You not dicked out like these white women!”
He closed: “I couldn’t do it, bruh. His spirit is so loving and giving. It hurt me to see that. You dive on the floor behind that n-gga, man!”
Bro. What?
Wives should always be off-limits. Period. This man is married, faithful, raising his family, and dominating in his field, and you’re worried about how his wife looks at him in public? That’s not masculine. That’s messy.
LeBron responded like a real king, posting pictures with Savannah and writing: “Kings don’t concern themselves with the opinions of peasants. Where to next Queen?!?! Let’s get it!”
That’s a real partnership. That’s strength. That’s how you protect what’s yours.
See, there’s a difference between love and lust. Lust wants attention and applause. Love wants peace and purpose. Kevin Gates claiming he’s a “servant of Allah” while publicly tearing down another man’s wife? That’s not Islam. That’s ego camouflaged as enlightenment. Like any actual person of faith, real followers of Allah know that honoring others is just as important as honoring yourself. Especially the women in our lives.
Even Brittany Renner, who Gates is linked to, has shown more growth than that. She converted to Islam, disavowed alcohol and premarital sex, and started moving different. That’s what healing looks like. But Gates still seems stuck between the man he says he wants to be and the behavior that keeps him in headlines.
We have to protect each other better than this.
As men, as brothers, and as friends, we’re supposed to hold each other accountable without ego. We’re supposed to check our people before they embarrass themselves or hurt someone else. And when someone speaks on your wife, your family, or your values, you’re supposed to be the shield, not the silence.
There’s a time to be loud and a time to be loyal.
My ex-friend didn’t understand that. Kevin Gates doesn’t seem to either. But as for me, I’ve learned that I’d rather lose a fake friend than lose my integrity. And I’d rather stand alone than sit beside someone who won’t protect what really matters.
We gotta do better. For our women. For our friends. For our own peace.
